Filtering 090614

Surf report: 2-3 feet building swell
Water: warm
Winds: marginal side shore
Atmosphere: Clear skies

Today was Matt's mom's memorial service. It was held at Saint Monica's Church in Santa Monica. I opted not to surf so I could make it to the service. The service was beautiful, and I felt the love and sense of loss emanating from every one in attendance. However, the moment I walked in, my right shoulder cramped up. It felt like the weight of the atmosphere just collapsed on me, and I felt the pain physically and spiritually. I'm not a believer in God, but I am a believer in a higher power, and today, the higher powers were present, imbuing the air with the dampened sense of loss of a loved one.

As a Buddhist ritual, I carried a small bag of salt in my pockets. As soon as the service was over, I paid my respects to Matt, Bri, and Matt's brother Randy, and walked out of the church. There, I threw some salt over my back in order to "cleanse" the area of spirits that might linger. And just like that, my shoulder pain subsided. Although I don't attend temple anymore, I still hold dear to the rituals I grew up with.

I went to work afterwards, and knew I had to jump into the water. I planned on going to Topanga since the South swell was incoming. I shot Matt a text, and he replied that he was drained from the days' events, and that he had a family obligation still that night to fulfill so he wouldn't be able to surf.

The dream of Andy Irons was still sticking with me, and I contemplated on what he had said to me. "I'm always here, wherever people need me to be."

Sunset beach looked mushy and small. The tide was coming up fast, so I knew I couldn't surf there for long. I drove by Topanga, and spotted a free parking spot. I busted a U-turn as quickly as I could, and parked. I watched the surf from the stairs, and the waves looked do-able. It was crowded, but there were some surfers leaving, so I thought why the hell not. Probably better than Malibu, right?

WRONG. The locals start to come out. And at a point break like Topanga, we can tell who are the locals, and who are not. This older lady, on a longboard, she's a local. Regular footed angry guy, he's a local. Goofy footed aggro guy with his chick, they are local. Little groms on the inside, they are local. Every one else? Guests.

I catch two waves today. I tried to pull into the barrel, and I get pinched, dragged, and thrown over the rocks. Oh well.

"Don't even look at my wave, ok? I saw you paddling on the shoulder. Don't worry about me not making the wave, I'm gonna make it. Don't even LOOK AT THE WAVE I'M PADDLING FOR, OKAY?" says angry local. Turns out he's Hawaiian Haole. He's yelling at a guy who has been paddling on the shoulders of waves.

Taro, the Japanese grom, is humble and fun loving. He speaks perfect Japanese, and has been surfing since he was 9. He's 12 now, and is trying to bust airs.

Goffy footed local with his chick - that's Shane. I've seen him here before, and he's scrapped with an outsider on a big day. He surfs here all the time, shown through his knowledge of the wave.

"Hey, I know you can surf, but you can't 'Hey hey' me. You can't do that, you're just a grom," Shane tells another grom.

"Hey Shane, he's just..." says an older guy.

"No, we're cool, I'm just telling him he can't do that to me. He's just a grom." Granted, yes, he is a grom, and yes, he shouldn't do that to a local, Shane is teaching this sort of treatment is fine to another generation. Children are like blank canvases, upon each of our actions and words paint a stroke.

Shane paddles quickly, and pushes his girlfriend into another wave. It's an okay wave, but she gets twice as many rides as I do.

I just go with the flow of the crowd. I don't like the vibe too much, but I deal with it, keeping to myself. I ebb and flow with the crowd, paddling with a purpose. I respect those that are "local" status, and try to get out of their way as much as possible. Feels like Hawaii, all over again. I try to filter out the negative chatter going on in the line up, and only take in the good.



My teeth start chattering, and so I start to go for everything that swings my way, sitting way too deep up the point. The waves mush out because of the backwash, and I get frustrated with my surfing.

Not filtered

I take a wave in, and make my way up the rocks. I get changed, and snap a picture of the sunset. The sunset was beautiful, but my phone didn't capture it correctly. However, thanks to the lies that we can set up with filters, my sunset now looks beautiful.

Filtered the shit out of this one

Much like how I tried to filter my way through the line up, I filtered the sun.

Mahalos Mother Ocean.

bAckwAsh and dreams 090514

Surf Report: Incoming SW swell 2-3 feet
Water: Bath water
Winds: side shore
Atmosphere: Cloudy

I woke up late. I woke up suuuuuuuper late snoozing, and felt terrible, since Matt, aka Donny Duckbutter, said he wanted to surf this Friday morning. I sent him a message saying that I just woke up and I'm getting ready so I'll see you there.

I arrive to 26th Street, and... there are waves!! but NO FRIGGIN PARKING. I circle around the lot twice, and nothing. So, I wait for a guy to change and relinquish his parking spot. He told me the water was super warm, so I don't even bother putting on my shortsuit. For all I know, Matt and Bri are already in the water. Ain't no one got time to put on a wetsuit!

Once I hit the sand, the High School kids get out. Perfect timing...? There is a lot of water moving, and I can tell that there is backwash. I haven't seen the Ocean do this in a long time. I paddle out and the current carries me further North.

I see Roy take off awkwardly and fall from the backwash. Same thing for Ross. If they're struggling... then what does that make me?

There was one notable ride this session. I read that the waves were better if they were small, since they would jack up and become decent rides on the inside. This one left looked like nothing, but I got to my feet, and pumped twice, cut back, pumped again, cut back, and rode it to the inside.

Other waves were bucking me off like a wild horse angry at getting a novice horse rider on its back.

It was only about an hour of surf before work, maybe less, but I had my fun.

Later on in the parking lot, I see Joyce, meet her friend Toru, and see Dais, Khang, and Peter. 

I talk to Matt later, and he said that he circled around for parking and couldn't find anything. He conceded to park at 45th Street, and he apologized for not making it to 26th Street. 45th Street was the same garbage backwash. I wanted to surf with him, but oh well.

That night, I had a dream of being back in Hawaii. I was driving down the Kamehameha Highway, passing by Sunset Beach, and see the late, great Andy Irons. I pull over and hop out. He casually says hi and we chat. The area flashes bright white, and we are at his friend's house with an older lady and two little girls running around. We talk about his disappearance and his absence in the world.

"Man, it was just like yesterday I watched you win the Tahiti event, and then you disappeared!" I told him.

"Brah, I didn't disappear," he answered with a smile.

"Maybe you killed yourself from the public eye," I told him.

"He disappeared so there weren't anymore girls to trouble him!" said the older lady.

"What were you doing at Sunset?" I asked him.

"It's a good spot to surf," he tells me.

"I thought you'd be at Pipe or Backdoor," I tell him."Or maybe V-land, it was so good today."

"I'm always here, wherever people want me to be," he tells me with a gleaming smile. 

I woke up from the dream, thinking what I had just heard. Yes, it is in my head, but does that make it not real? No, it doesn't. Whoever dies in this world, never truly is DEAD. They only die when they are forgotten.

And so those of us who have lost loved ones, they are always HERE, wherever people want them to be. In our hearts, in our minds, in our souls, in our daily lives, in our dreams. Wherever you want them to be, they will always be there. 

Therapy 090114

Surf Report: 1-2 feet closeouts
Water: warm
Winds: ON shore
Atmosphere: one of the clearest, most beautiful day

So, my roommates have broken up recently. I've known Mel for about seven years now, and love her like a family member. And her now ex-boyfriend Pat, I've known about since they started dating, but got to know him better since we lived together. They were a big part of my sense of "family" at home, and it broke my heart to see them separate.

I talk to Pat and Mel all the time. It is painful still, and it's just one of those things that life throws at you to remind you that you're not in control of anything. The only thing you are in control of is how you personally feel.

So, after a day working on Labor Day (yes, I work on Labor Day) I decided to go surf. I sent out the bat signal, but no one was able to come out. I visited my family friends, the Morimoto's, to say hi, and they were eating dinner so they sat me down and fed me. I stuck around for about an hour eating and talking to them. They fed me beer, grilled chicken, grilled peppers, and dessert.

I came home and laid in bed. I felt full, but empty. I was not in a good head space. I flipped a coin, and it landed on heads, meaning HEAD OUT to the beach. I gathered my surfboard, towel, and backpack, and headed out the door. It was going to be a minimalist session - just my board, the Ocean, and me. No gear, no sun block, no nothing.

I debated on going to Venice or Manhattan Beach. "Home is where the heart is," I thought to myself. Venice is my home, but my heart will always belong to 26th Street. So, I accelerate past Venice boulevard and Washington Place, and head to Manhattan Beach.

The waves looked good at Dockweiler, then smaller and smaller as I approached El Porto. By the time I got to 26th Street, the waves looked tiny and closing out. I pull into a parking space and wonder if I had made the right choice. The waves looked shitty, none of my friends are here, and I have forty five minutes until the sun sets. I look at the meter, and its green light flickered. Could it be...?

The minutes read: 00:45. Forty-five minutes of free parking! I got my surfboard out of my car, waxed it up, locked my car, and headed out to the sand. I stretched as I watched a body boarder and surfer catch close outs. Yes, it was shitty, yes, it was lonely, but god damn, it was so beautiful.

The sun was setting in the horizon as I paddled out. The tide was low, and on more than one occasion I duck-dived my board into the sand. The water was super warm, and it reminded me of Hawaii and Mexico. The orange hues beaming out of the big ball of fire on the horizon was gorgeous, much like staring into smile of the one you love as your foreheads touch.

Another surfer paddled out, and we sat far from each other with little interaction. Usually, I would talk to someone, but today... I just felt like being alone with my thoughts. All the good, the bad, and the ugly. Just all of it, and immerse myself and accept all of those thoughts. All of my family members and friends that I still have, all of those that we have lost this year and times past, and all of those relationships that soured over the years. All of it.

And for one fleeting moment, I felt the Ocean just touch me deep inside, letting me know that things are going to be ok. That this too shall pass, and that there will always be a next one, there will be another day following today.

I caught a belly ride in, and watched the sun get undressed for the moon. It was a strip tease, because once she revealed to us her true beauty, she disappeared from view and only left a luminous glow of her glorious allure behind the horizon. I bowed my head in thanks and walked up the sand.

Mahalos Mother Ocean!

The Ocean

There has been a lot of death circling my circle of friends this year. Four of my friends have lost their mothers this year, and another friend is on the verge of losing her father. It sucks, and at the same time, it makes me appreciate the parents I still have, and the fact that I can still tell them that I love them and spend time with them.

The following is a transcription of a message left by my friend, Donny Duckbutter, who recently lost his mother. I've been trying to get him out to surf, but it's been hard to get out at the same time. I went surfing one morning without him, trying to egg him on to come out even though he showed up, saw the surf, and turned back. It was a shitty surf session, but friends were out, and so that session was a good session for me.

I always say, "Surfing is always fun, but it's a hundred times more fun when your friends are with you." 

==========================================================================
From Donny Duckbutter, aka Matt on August 28th, 2014:

"Yesterday… no, not yesterday, the day before yesterday, when I went to Trestles… I kinda realized that surfing definitely saved my life during the time when Lauren and I broke up… but to kinda clear my mind about my mom passing and everything, it was nice going out there but it’s definitely going to take more than surfing. 

I was out there, and I definitely didn’t feel comfortable staying out there, so I came back and cleared out my garage and did some other things that I wanted to do. But at the same time, it was nice today to just go out local and the surf really wasn’t that great, but it was so therapeutic.

When I got out of the sand and was showering off and I looked and the sun was just perfect, you can see the pier and conditions were just awesome… and it kinda made me realize that it’s easy being picky as a surfer, and be like, 'Aw, it looks like shit,' and then leave, but then you’re kinda cheating yourself on the experience.  It does suck to get skunked, but I think that’s part of the whole surfing [life]: Getting up early and driving in the dark, getting out there and meeting a couple of your friends out… you get your fill, like maybe one or two waves on a day that’s not so great, but it’s just so nice when you don’t have to travel so far for [surf] because you don’t feel like you lost too much.

I stayed local today and paddled out on such a beautiful day, and it was just a wonderful way to start it… it’s so therapeutic… I definitely… I can appreciate that more now."  

==========================================================================

Indeed, surf isn't every thing, but it sure helps in our daily lives. When we're happy, we're glad we surfed. When we're sad, we're glad we surfed. We never regret paddling out and say, "Aw man I wish I hadn't paddled out today." Every session is beautiful. Every session we gain something we didn't have before. Every session is magical. And every session begins and ends with the Ocean. 

Mahalos Mother Ocean. 

Seeing A Whole New World 063014

Surf: Choppy, 2-3 feet with occ. 4
Atmosphere: Blinding sunset
Winds: On shore
Water: trunkable

So, I am a man of my word.  If I say I'm going to do something, I will do it, no matter what.  One of my promises to myself was to get laser eye surgery done, and after many consultations and second opinions, I got PRK surgery done.

For those of you who do not know, I have acute astigmatism.  My right eye is a -8.0 and my left eye is -7.75.  In other words, I am legally blind without glasses.  For the last nine years, I have surfed without glasses on, because I have lost a pair of glasses in the Ocean, and lost two pairs of contacts also.  Tally that up to about $900.  So, I decided to surf without glasses or contacts.  My peers would ask, "HOW THE HELL CAN YOU SEE?'  Well, I don't, to tell you the truth.  I see at the last second that I have a wave to paddle for, turn around, and gun for it.  Finally, Pat, my beloved roommate and boyfriend of Mel, said to me, "You need to get your eyes fixed kid."  That was a resounding mantra towards me during my Mexico trip, and so I promised not only the boys but myself that I will get my eyes fixed. 

PRK surgery is the "older" version of LASIK.  While LASIK is minimally invasive, PRK is invasive.  LASIK cuts a small semi-circle in your cornea, then laser beams zap the eye to correct the vision, and the cornea is flapped back on top, so the only part that needs to heal is the semi-circle area that was cut.  PRK shaves off the cornea, laser beams the eye, then puts a protective contact lens on to act as a band-aid to let the cornea under it heal.  After a few days, the contact lens is removed, and the cornea has to heal a bit more for the eyes to be able to see again. 

Let me be the first to tell you that this process is fucking painful.  I couldn't hold my eyes open longer than 3 minutes, and when I did, the eyes were super sensitive to light.  MY GOD.  I was practically blind for four days.  But then came the day to remove the protective contact lens so my eyes could heal.  I go into the doctor's office, and have them removed.  My eyes start hurting like crazy.  I start tearing up a deluge of water from my eyes, all over the front desk.  The doctor is called to the front, and I am rushed back into his office.  "You tore the cornea that just healed over your right eye," he told me.  I TORE IT?? no fucking way. 

Who knows, maybe I did, maybe he did, maybe he took the contact lens off too soon.  I don't know.  But that day I couldn't keep my eyes open at all.  Even having my eyes closed hurt.  I can't believe I drove from the doctors office to my work with those eyes.  I had to leave my car and take a cab home.  For the next five days, I sat in my house, eyes closed, blinds shut, and listening to the television.  Luckily, there were a lot of left overs to eat so I didn't go hungry.  The World Cup was on, so I had that playing in the background the whole time. 

One thing I discovered was that TENNIS IS FUCKING BORING when you can't see.  There's no play-by-play, no commentary, until the ball goes out.  All I heard was the grunting sounds of the players, the rally back and forth, and then "Oh what a great shot by Azarenka!!"  I don't know what the fuck happened!!! how boring. 

So, I spent about ten days in the dark, with my eyes closed.  I must say, I grew sensitive to sounds in that short period of time.  It wasn't by choice, I was forced to.  I spent a lot of time on the sofa or on my bed, listening to audio books.  When I could, I would practice my pop ups, do push-ups, and do one-legged leg lifts with a medicine ball in one hand.  I had to do something to keep my body from stiffening up.  And slowly, my vision started improving and the pain subsided.  The day came to take off my protective contact lens off, and I could feel my eyes were ready to just see again.  The doctor removed the contact lens off my right eye and said that my cornea had healed perfectly, and that I should be seeing an improvement every day.  That was June 26th. 

On Monday, June 30th, I asked my doctor if I could go swim.  He said I was cleared to swim, surf, do whatever.  Just don't rub my eyes too hard just yet.  I had assumed I was cleared to swim that morning, so I had my swim stuff packed in my car already.  I posted on my facebook that I was cleared to swim.  Dais replied to me to come paddle out with him and Khang that afternoon.  How awesome would that be? 

For some reason, my boss had to leave early that day.  Which meant I was able to leave early.  I called Dais and he said that they were just leaving for the beach.  I told them I would meet them there.  I was stoked.

I drove towards my house, and saw the traffic was getting thick.  If I stopped by home, would I get stuck in more traffic?  I called Dais again.  "Do you guys have an extra board I can use?  I have a pair of boardshorts and a towel already, but don't wanna go home." 

"Khang, do we have a board for KK?  Yea, we do! We got the fish! We'll leave it out on the sand for you with a leash."

I was stoked. 

I parked right near Khang's car - my old car's twin.  Burgundy Toyota Sienna soccer mom van.  I got changed and heard a siren.  Some boys were on top of the roof of their million dollar house along the strand and using a megaphone to harass runners and people passing by.  "Hey, sir!  Sir, no running above 8 miles per hour.  Slow down! You, roller-blading! Slow down."  On and on they went. 

I put two hours in the meter and headed out to the sand. 

I could see from the parking lot that the fish was stabbed into the sand, ready for me to take her for a ride.  WOW, I can fucking SEEE!!!!

I did my routine stretch, and strapped on the leash.  I could see the people in the line up clearly, and I could make out where the waves were breaking.  It felt surreal.  I paddled out, and the water was so warm.  I couldn't believe it.  I duck dived, closing my eyes since they were still in the healing process.  But I could SEE. 

I saw Dais immediately.  It was pretty crazy, to actually SEE my friends in the water.  He was riding the CI Average Joe.  Khang was there too, riding his New Flyer.  We exchange pleasantries, and I get straight to work.

The fish is by Christenson, and set up as a glassed on twin fin.  It was a solid board, but very stiff.  I had no problem taking off and my pop-ups were perfect on it.  Thank you past self for practicing pop-ups even while I was blind!  I was able to pump down the line and cover a lot of real estate off of my first wave.  The inside was consistent, but all I did was wait.  No rush to get back out there. 

There were some really clean waves despite the wind being on it.  It wasn't too bad actually.  I saw Dais do some things on his board I have never seen him do.  His pop up seemed stronger and faster.  And he looked lighter on his feet too.  He got some long rides that connected to the inside. 

Khang was waiting for the bigger sets on the outside as always.  While I fought the current, he let it drift him further north.  He caught a big outside set but the thing just closed out after he popped up.  It's been a while since I got to surf with the two guys because our schedules don't coincide, so it wasn't pretty amazing that we got to surf together on my first day back in the water.  They are my childhood friends that I call family. 

I got to my feet a few times, not falling once, pumping down the line as much as I could on every wave.  Again, this board was pretty stiff so it was hard to garnish a top turn.  But hey, it's not the bow and arrow, its the Indian, right Donny D?

After one and a half hours, I called it a day.  It was getting cold, and although I wanted to WATCH the sunset from the water, I was done.  I didn't want to push my luck on the first day back.  I got my fair share of waves, saw my friends catch a good amount of waves, and hooted some strangers into waves too.  An afternoon well spent in the water. 

My vision is only going to get better from now on, I thought to myself.  This thought made me giggle inside.  I can't believe I've been surfing BLIND for nine years.  It took my stubborn ass to finally bite the bullet, spend $3,500, spend ten days in the dark, and finally! I CAN SEE!!! No  more blurry vision when I wake up, no more uncomfortable contact lenses, no more wiping my glasses after a kiss and her forehead rubs on my face, no more dancing worrying about my glasses flying off, no more prescription sunglasses to carry around, no more no more no more!!! It was a whole new world that I am able to see now, and I absolutely love it. 

Mahalos Mother Ocean!! 

Lessons from Salina Cruz, Mexico 4/24/14 - 5/1/14

Lessons from my surf trip to Mexico's Salina Cruz:

1. Get Lasik done.

I can't see without my glasses.  I don't wear contacts because I've lost them twice in the water, and each pair costs me about $300.  So, I surf blind.  How blind?  I'm a -8 in both of my eyes.  This trip... the boys (who are all older than me by at least 10 years) started clowning on me for not being able to see the waves.  They said that I paddle into the waves way too late, and that I'm wiping out because I'm not in the sweet spot when I take off.  So, I made a pact with one of our buddies, Nate, to get Lasik done by the next time we see each other.  He lost his contacts one surf session and was super uncomfortable.  He asked me how I can see the waves, and I simply said that I can't, until the last second.  Bad way to surf big waves. 

2.  Paddle with a purpose

Brazilians are aggressive.  Not only that, they surf very well too.  If you don't compete with them, they will not budge an inch and you'll never get to surf any waves.  I found this very uncomfortable because people usually take turns, but not Brazo's.  They just compete and take every wave possible.  "They're paying a lot of money to be here too," said my roommate, Pat, to me.  He was right.  And I paid a shit ton of money too.  What am I paying myself to just sit there and watch?  If I've been waiting in the water for a long time and it's my turn, I have to put my head down, paddle with a purpose of catching the wave, and just drop in.  They'll back out when they see that.  And they did.

3.  Meet and Greet the wave

I can't just sit and expect a wave to come to me.  When a set approaches, I have to paddle to it, position myself at the critical part of the wave, and then flip around paddle for the wave.  Again, I have to find the sweet spot for the take off.

4.   Two extra paddles for barrels

Don't we always hear, "One more paddle."?  Actually, it's TWO for me.  I need two extra paddles to get into hollow waves. Without them, I miss the wave and miss my turn in the line-up.  "Back of the line, Klaude-O~!"

5.  It's a mental thing

I had to figure this out for myself.  It was big and gnarly and raw in Mexico.  Probably more raw than Hawaii.  Or maybe, I just wasn't surfing in Hawaii?  Maybe I was just bull-shitting the whole time last December.  In any case, I found that when I was frustrated or angry at myself with my inability to surf these conditions, it was my mentality that was weak.  It wasn't my body's physical fitness.  My mental strength wasn't there to push myself over the ledge.  I finally found a good mentality on the 5th day of trip, when we surfed a spot that only barreled.  There, I figured that I need to stop being a little bitch, and stop giving a fuck. 

6. Charge hard, because everyone else is surfing better than you

I know I shouldn't compare myself to others, but it's hard when everyone around you rips, and they're in their forties.  So, I had to sit on the peak, wait for my turn, and go for the biggest waves.  I know some of those waves were just not make-able, but I had to go on them so that the boys won't give me shit about surfing like a barney.  One of the compliments I received for my actions was, "You got balls kid," from my roommate Pat.  Another was from Matt, a surfer from Texas:  "Klaude, don't take this the wrong way, but I have never seen someone eat so much shit, and come right back out and charge like you do."  I had one of the gnarliest wipe-outs of my life, and got shaken up badly.  I went for the wave of the day, but ate shit. 

7.  Start pumping - FAST

I need to do more squats and get more power under me.  Surfing California mush isn't going to allow me to catch barrels.  I can kinda bullshit in California waves. I can't do that kind of surfing in raw waves.  Once I start making my drop I need to start pumping.  Engage those fins! 

8. Your legs can get sun-burnt too

We surfed one spot for 6 hours with eight people out, including us five.  I reapplied sun screen on my face and rehydrated constantly, eating mangoes and granola in between.  I didn't realize our legs can get sun burnt until the end of the session, when my surfboard bag was brushing up on my leg and made me wince in pain.  It wasn't just me - everyone got burnt this day.

9.  Keep your basic paddle strong and fast

The current in Mexico... one of the gnarliest open ocean currents I have ever experienced.  Keeping a slow-paced paddle was not cutting it.  I was getting no where.  I had to paddle hard, and paddle fast to even maintain a spot in the line up, let alone make it to the outside.

10.  Do more surf trips

I can't get better surfing crap waves every day.  I have surf quality waves as much as possible.  Whether its to a point break in Los Angeles County or a foreign land abroad, I have to travel more to better locations if I want my surfing to improve.  I could tell that a lot of people who surf well have traveled, or are still traveling, and that the waves they surf are making them better.  I met people who came as far as Austria to surf Mexico, and they were great surfers. 

Happy

Ever wonder why Kelly Slater fins work so well?  They double as xylophones.

Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof
Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth
Clap along if you know what happiness is to you
Clap along if you feel like that's what you wanna do