Water: Warm
Winds: Offshore
Atmosphere: Sunny
On Wednesday morning, I give E a call. I had to consult with my confidant, Mel, and she said I don't have to say anything, or I could just get it off my chest. I had to get the things off my chest on how I didn't want E contacting me until my heart heals. I wrote down all the points I want to tell her, and we talk. I lay down how I feel, on how that I'm still hurting over my broken heart, and that I need time to heal. She's silent.
"Well, that's all your fault," she says.
I listen.
"I was very clear that I didn't want a relationship, but you pursued it. You're responsible for the way you feel right now."
"So, you're not responsible at all? Leading me on was none of your responsibility?"
"No, you said that you're okay with this. You said we can still be friends. YOU said it, didn't you? You decided on this. Or, were you lying? Is that it, you were lying the whole time?"
I was in shock. I was flabbergasted. I couldn't say anything.
"Tell me, what exactly did you mean when you're okay with us being that way? I WANT to learn from this."
"Well, next time you hug, kiss and shower with someone, make sure that you actually like them," I told her.
Then she started to rant on how that none of that was her fault, and that I was responsible for those actions. I couldn't respond.
"Well, if YOU need time then YOU should take time. I'm here for you whenever YOU are ready, Klaude."
"Ok, bye," I say.
"Bye."
I was still in awe of how she vilified me. So, this was all my fault. Everything was my fault. I was kinda angry, but just in shock, because she is supposed to be someone very spiritual, and then she says that she has nothing to do with how I felt, and that it is my own doing.
In a sense, yes, I am responsible for my own heart being broken. I let myself be exposed, and this is part of love. People get hurt. But sometimes, it works out and it's a beautiful thing.
Just. Shocked.
And at the same time... I felt liberated. I felt free.
Yoga on Wednesday night was amazing. I felt all my hips and shoulders open up and breathe. Wow, was E causing all of this? Or was I allowing her to cause me to feel this way? Either way, she's out of my life now!!
The next morning, I wake up for the surf. I completely forget that there is a contest on at 26th Street.
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| My drive-by shooting skills were a little off today |
I get to the parking and it's absolutely PACKED. There are two cars waiting ahead of me. Well, I did come late....
One car leaves. I get out of my car as the first car is parking. There are two cars getting ready to leave. Score!
I get parking and walk down my favorite way - between the greenery of succulents growing on the Strand. I walk down to the brick house and watch the waves. They look big, but are breaking perfectly. As perfect as I have seen it break in a long time.
There are packs of groms where I am about to paddle out from. They surfed their heats and are congregated to the next spot over.
"How did you do in your heat? I heard you ripped!"
"What? No. I skunked it. I didn't get two scorable rides. Just close outs man," a grom says.
"Dude, I think I've gotten so much better just surfing today! The waves are so good!" says another.
I maintain my spot in front of the Brick House. For the first hour or so, I don't catch too many rides.. Just a right here and a left there.
Once 900 AM hit, the water cleared out. The canopies were taken down. The groms were gone, and no one seemed to be in the water.
I started to get some more waves. Got a right, pumped, turned, pumped again, finishing carve.
Got a left, pumped, carved, didn't like the carve so pumped more, and put everything in the last carve.
Got another right, pumped, and carved all the way around. Stayed with the white wash, pumped one more time and cut back again.
HO-LY SHIT.
It was firing. In a half hour span, I caught so many waves that I couldn't believe myself. I went right a lot of the times, but I seriously only picked going right because they were A Framing the whole way on most of the main peaks at 26th Street.
Well, it's time to go to work now... At least I had some fun.
I see Mike the Vet getting changed. "Fun, huh Klaude?"
"Yea! Super fun. Bummed I have to go to work," I reply.
I see Ross running down.
"Ross! You're late!!" I tease him. "Getting out now?"
"NawKlaude!! Going back out again!"
"He called in sick," says Geller, the surf team coach.
I am wide-eyed with amazement... Calling in sick. For surf.
EXACTLY.
I go to my car, watch the waves, and make the decision. I am going to be fucking late to work today.
I throw in an hour and drink some coconut water. I head back down, and see Geller stretching.
"You made the call!!" he yells at me.
"It's rare to have it this good this empty!!" I yell back at him.
I paddle out, and I see the South African goofie foot that rips bust an air. He doesn't stick it, but he paddles out and catches another left. He blows the tail, and gets unstuck.
I was just amazed. The waves were still pumping, and it was just perfect. The waves were steep enough for maneuvers, but so forgiving and mushy that it was just amazing.
I get some rights, but they're not great in front of the tower now. Plus, it's crowded here, meaning there are five guys on this peak. I go towards Don and Ross by the Brick House.
Once I get there, it was just a wave buffet for the three of us. We each take turns getting rights. We catch one after the other after the other. I can't even count how many waves I caught during this span of time. It was just so perfectly rippable. I felt my surfing improved greatly from this one session. I surf over my time limit, but don't care. The waves were just so good!! I couldn't believe myself.
I catch a left much like my left earlier. I carve back to the white wash, unsatisfied. I pump for more speed, lay into the bottom turn, and carve everything into my last turn. My legs are tired. I must be done. I look back and see Ross and Don catching more waves. I wave at them, and they wave back.
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| Perfect A-Frame, All Time 26th Street |
Back at the car, I can't help but smile and laugh at the luck we all had this day. It was indeed a perfect South Bay day. I call Matt, and I can't stop laughing while talking to him. I am indeed, STOKED.
This is what I needed. This feeling, this emotional down then picking myself up, this is what I live for. Life is full of peaks and valleys, and you can't let the peaks get too high, nor the valleys too low. But when they do, the surf always seems to be the perfect response to what I need in my life. I felt liberated, I felt like I could do anything I wanted without limitations. I felt like myself.
I am forever grateful for meeting E. I miss her, of course, much like I miss many of the girls that I have "loved." That word should never be in past tense, but it does happen. That's life. You gotta love like you will never get hurt. And if you do get hurt, you gotta keep moving forward. The sun will rise and the New Moon will rise (which, it did this night) and life moves forward. The next wave will always come, and it might be shitty, or it might be perfect. But, you gotta be ready for it whenever it comes!
And of course, miss work when it's totally pumping at your local spot. Because that's what I struggled so hard to get my CPA for!!!
Mahalos Mother Ocean!!!
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