Therapy 090114

Surf Report: 1-2 feet closeouts
Water: warm
Winds: ON shore
Atmosphere: one of the clearest, most beautiful day

So, my roommates have broken up recently. I've known Mel for about seven years now, and love her like a family member. And her now ex-boyfriend Pat, I've known about since they started dating, but got to know him better since we lived together. They were a big part of my sense of "family" at home, and it broke my heart to see them separate.

I talk to Pat and Mel all the time. It is painful still, and it's just one of those things that life throws at you to remind you that you're not in control of anything. The only thing you are in control of is how you personally feel.

So, after a day working on Labor Day (yes, I work on Labor Day) I decided to go surf. I sent out the bat signal, but no one was able to come out. I visited my family friends, the Morimoto's, to say hi, and they were eating dinner so they sat me down and fed me. I stuck around for about an hour eating and talking to them. They fed me beer, grilled chicken, grilled peppers, and dessert.

I came home and laid in bed. I felt full, but empty. I was not in a good head space. I flipped a coin, and it landed on heads, meaning HEAD OUT to the beach. I gathered my surfboard, towel, and backpack, and headed out the door. It was going to be a minimalist session - just my board, the Ocean, and me. No gear, no sun block, no nothing.

I debated on going to Venice or Manhattan Beach. "Home is where the heart is," I thought to myself. Venice is my home, but my heart will always belong to 26th Street. So, I accelerate past Venice boulevard and Washington Place, and head to Manhattan Beach.

The waves looked good at Dockweiler, then smaller and smaller as I approached El Porto. By the time I got to 26th Street, the waves looked tiny and closing out. I pull into a parking space and wonder if I had made the right choice. The waves looked shitty, none of my friends are here, and I have forty five minutes until the sun sets. I look at the meter, and its green light flickered. Could it be...?

The minutes read: 00:45. Forty-five minutes of free parking! I got my surfboard out of my car, waxed it up, locked my car, and headed out to the sand. I stretched as I watched a body boarder and surfer catch close outs. Yes, it was shitty, yes, it was lonely, but god damn, it was so beautiful.

The sun was setting in the horizon as I paddled out. The tide was low, and on more than one occasion I duck-dived my board into the sand. The water was super warm, and it reminded me of Hawaii and Mexico. The orange hues beaming out of the big ball of fire on the horizon was gorgeous, much like staring into smile of the one you love as your foreheads touch.

Another surfer paddled out, and we sat far from each other with little interaction. Usually, I would talk to someone, but today... I just felt like being alone with my thoughts. All the good, the bad, and the ugly. Just all of it, and immerse myself and accept all of those thoughts. All of my family members and friends that I still have, all of those that we have lost this year and times past, and all of those relationships that soured over the years. All of it.

And for one fleeting moment, I felt the Ocean just touch me deep inside, letting me know that things are going to be ok. That this too shall pass, and that there will always be a next one, there will be another day following today.

I caught a belly ride in, and watched the sun get undressed for the moon. It was a strip tease, because once she revealed to us her true beauty, she disappeared from view and only left a luminous glow of her glorious allure behind the horizon. I bowed my head in thanks and walked up the sand.

Mahalos Mother Ocean!