Water: Warm
Atmosphere: Overcast
Winds: Marginal
The wedding was amazing. The vows that were exchanged were beautiful. The food was awesome, and I met a lot of people I haven't seen in a long while. I danced my ass off. I danced, while Elyce mended her sprained ankle. She had gone out Friday night and sprained it. I warned her that I would be dancing the whole time, to which she replied, "Don't worry about me, I'm gonna be dancing too!"
Well, she didn't.
I danced the night away with the whole party. I twerked for the groom. I battled some people. I danced the way I wanted to dance! Dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening, and love like you will never get hurt!
She drove us home to our Air BnB and we slept in the same bed. It was a happy occasion I was attending, but I was sad most of the time being with Elyce. I no longer held her hand in mine, our fingers interwoven together like a wool sweater. I no longer was able to kiss her goodnight, like how the sun does to the horizon as it set. I had to accept that, and feel the pain. I needed to feel the pain in order to heal.
Should have brought the yoga mat, I thought.
I take a walk outside and take a deep breath on the balcony. The balcony leads down a path nestled between trees of plumeria and fruit, with lavender bushes attracting hummingbirds. There is a pool at the very bottom of this estate, and a hammock lies right next to it. The panoramic view is stunning from the balcony giving the viewer a clear sight of the Ocean and the boats that wade through its still surface. The hummingbirds flutter and buzz their wings as I make my way down to the hammock.
Originally, I was supposed to lay here with E. But plans never go as planned. I lay their by myself, as always. My comfortable zone, if you may.
Rich, our host, walks out to the balcony as I lay in the hammock. I greet him a good morning, and we chat. He asks for me to move the car since he has to go buy croissants for our breakfast. Originally, he was supposed to defrost some last night and bake them today. But plans never go as planned.
There are two other couples staying at Rich's house. A couple from LA that are just getting away from the buzzing city life, and a couple from South Africa that are traveling through California. Rich talks to all of us, getting to know us individually, and is a great host. He genuinely enjoys having other people stay at his house.
We decide to take a walk on the beach for the morning. It's a beautiful coastline, but there are no waves. Dogs run up and down in this beach, from small, little ones to gigantic, dopey ones. We walk along the shore line. I close myself off. I contemplate and sit in the sadness. She can feel my closed heart. She and I walk separately at the same pace. When we walk alongside each other, I feel the most distance between us. The water splashes and cools down my legs.
During our walk, E kneels down and gives a prayer to the Ocean. She lets the water splash all over her as the water crashes on her and then recedes. Why wouldn't anyone fall in love with her when she does amazingly weird things like this? We decide to head out of Santa Barbara. I wanted to eat, and found a place about ten minutes away that has good fish tacos. Upon exiting the freeway, we are hit with traffic.
"There's an avocado festival going on... I forgot," I say. "Let's get out of here. I don't want to be around so many people right now."
"Sounds good," she replies.
"Could you text Pat and let him know we are on the way?"
Onwards we went to visit Patricio!!
We jam to a local station jamming to Reggae sounds. The drive is nice along the water, but there are no waves... Tide is too high, I think. As we approach Oxnard, I can see the foggy area hovering over Oxnard.
"That's weird, everywhere else is sunny as hell, why is it so foggy over there?" I wonder out loud.
We arrive at Pat's neighborhood in Silver Strand and see him talking to his fishermen neighbors. They are all drinking beers over a bounty of Yellowfin. We park, and I get a big hug from Pat. He gives E a big hug and a kiss.
"Burn that shirt, Klado!" he tells me.
I was wearing a Gem shirt that Mel works for now. He hates that company. I wasn't sure exactly why, but it was reminding him of Mel and that made him a little sour.
I give him his birthday gifts, some Clay Marzo Future Fins, and a bottle of red wine. We walk in to his house and are greeted by Lacey and Tolula, her little puppy dawg.
"Wanna see if I can get some fish for us?" says Pat.
"Yea! That would be sick!"
We walk outside. "Ey! How much for a sliver of fish for the two of us? Six beers?" Pat yells.
"Naw, just one beer each. That will be cool!" says one of the fishermen neighbor.
Sick, four beers, and we are in business!! As he walks away to make the barter complete, I take off my shirt and throw on my other shirt that I wore yesterday.
We take the day slow, catching up, lolly gagging around, and just shooting the shit. I update Pat on my life, and he tells me what's going on in his. He's lost some weight, and had to buy a new wardrobe. Some of the stuff he bought won't fit, so he hands them to me. Score two new pairs of pants, and some tuna!! I dry hump his new boards, an Average Joe and a Nezzy shaped for the winter. They are way too big for me, but they look really fun.
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| Patricio takes a selfie on my phone <3 |
"You didn't have to change shirts, I was just kidding," Pat says. "But, thanks bro."
We walk to the beach to check out the waves. The overcast is still coming on strong, and there are no signs of letting up. There are small groups of people hanging on the beach, and a bunch of kids in the water. The waves aren't great, but there are waves. Pat says hi to the crews of people. This place is such a small community. No one lives here, really. Most of the houses are vacation homes for people who don't stay here.
We head back to the house, pack some drinks and chips, get all of our surfboards, and head down to the beach.
At first, Pat and I body surf. There are some nice sets rolling through, and we paddle like crazy for them. We kick and scratch and laugh as we catch waves.
Pat goes over to get the surfboards and waves me to come in. He is grabbing the foamie, and I grab the Sushi, the foamie equal of a shortboard.
Lacey and E come out too, along with Greg. We all trade boards and surf for about an hour.
There weren't any memorable waves this session. It was just fun to surf with Pat and his buddy. Greg goes into the beach with the girls, and Pat and I are waiting on the outside.
Pat divulges why he and Mel broke up.
I got angry.
I can't say why they broke up, since it does not concern me, but just know, I am angry. I paddle with anger. I take off with anger. I eat shit with anger. I resurface.
With anger.
I slam the Sushi. Pat sees this.
"Ey, I'm sorry man, I shouldn't have told you," he tells me.
I stare at him, trying to maintain my composure. "Naw, it's better you told me now than to not know. Innocence is bliss, but man... FUCK!" I splash water around me.
"Naw, I shouldn't have told you. Forget that I said it."
"I can't anymore. It all makes sense now."
The whole afternoon, I phase in and out of thinking of why they broke up, how much I love both of them, how much I love Elyce, and enjoying the moment.
E buys tacos for all of us. We grub on the beach and drink more brews. We all laugh and have a good time on the beach. We surf more, and hang out more. It's a complete beach day with the overcast looming over our heads the whole time. The sun tries to shine through, but the glum overcast is too strong.
We pack our stuff and go back to the house. We chill more and wait for the sun to set.
"Maybe one more sesh?" Pat asks.
"Let's go check it out!"
Lacey, E, Pat and I walk down to the beach. We watch the waves together, and decide it's now or never. The tide is picking up more and more.
We put boardshorts back on and grab our boards. Pat screws on his new fins on to his Average Joe and waxes it up. I grab the Sushi and we both trot to the beach.
The overcast is finally gone. The sky is clear, and is a bright orange. The sunsets are gorgeous here in Oxnard.
"Everyone loves that," Pat says, pointing at the sun setting. "But I think this is more beautiful." He points back towards the shore line and the sky is a royal blue melding with a deep purple. The waxing moon shone bright while the bright stars twinkle in the back. "That is the money shot," he says.
We trade boards and we catch waves in. Our last wave, Pat drops in on me, looks back, pulls his pants down, and shows me his full moon.
I laugh so hard that I keel over. I jump off the board because we are in the shore break.
"Did you see something, Klaudo?" Pat asks.
"Yea, this!!" I pull my pants down and show him my bare ass.
We both laugh our asses off.
Back at Pat's house, we shower in his outdoor shower and eat some of his tomato chicken stew with the wine I got him. We fill up and get ready to depart.
We say our good-byes to Pat, Lacey, and Tolula. We drive down the PCH in silence.
E asks me what the best part of the trip was. I stay quiet, contemplating of what has transpired this whole weekend. I tell her hanging out with her, dancing, waking up to that beautiful scenery, surfing with Pat and hanging at the beach all day were all part of it.
I stay alone with my thoughts, contemplating more about my relationship with E, my relationship with Pat, my relationship with Mel... It's all love, right? It should be...
No, it's not ALL love. It's respect. It's responsibility. It's laughter. It's tears. It's anger and it's timing. It's sunshine and it's overcast. It's surfing and eating shit. It's dancing. It's sleeping. It's playing with dogs that aren't yours. It's laying in the hammock. It's remembering birthdays. It's bartering for freshly caught yellowfin tuna. It's EVERYTHING.
Everything has to mesh. Everything has a factor in a relationship, especially if it's deep and meaningful. It can't just be one thing. It's everything.
Mahalos Mother Ocean.
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